The Loud House fanfic: Baby Boomed
by wildchild21
Summary: A pregnancy test is found. Lincoln thinks that it belongs to his mom, or a certain eldest sister. Watch out for the twist ending.
1. Chapter 1

[Lincoln and Lana pick up trash outside the house.]

Lincoln: Ugh, why did I agree to help you with the trash, Lana?

Lana: 'Cause Mom said you agreed to help a sister today if you wanna go to the comic book store.

Lincoln: Man, look at all this mess. This is disgusting.

Lana: To you. To me, it's disgustingly amazing. Just look of this stuff. Some of them could be valuables.

Lincoln: Valuables?

Lana: Yeah, like this used toothbrush or this broken headlight or this scratched vinyl disc or this pregnancy test or this runner-up golf trophy with Lori's name on it or-

Lincoln: Wait?! What did you say?!

Lana: This golf trophy. Lori was really bummed out when she was a runner-up so-

Lincoln: No, not that, that.

[Lincoln points at the pregnancy test and picks it up.]

Lincoln: [gasp] Holy Shamoly, it's positive! Then that means...

[Lincoln kicks the front door.]

Lincoln: We're having another sibling!

[The other sisters get confused.]

Lynn: What are you talking about?

Lola: This house has enough people in here. We can't all possibly fit with one more.

Lincoln: Oh, yeah? Well, how do you explain... [reveals the pregnancy test in a plastic bag.] This?

[He throws the bag at the table. The sisters gasp in shock.]

Lori: It's literally positive.

Lynn: I don't believe it.

Leni: You can test a pregnancy on that thermometer?

Luan: We're really getting another sibling?

Lincoln: I'm not really sure. I don't even know who-

Lola: Oooooh, I changed my mind about what I said. Mom's having abother baby. Hooray! Another cute baby's on the way.

[Lily throws a rattle at Lola and pulls a disgruntled face.]

Lisa: Now hold on, siblings. We do not know that. There has to be a logical explanation for all this.

Lincoln: Lisa's right. I can't tell if this test is Mom's. I think we need to ask her ourselves.

Leni: I have a question? What else does that thermometer test?


	2. Chapter 2

[Everyone is at Lisa's room.]

Lisa: Siblings, I think I know how we can identify the owner of the pregnancy test. I give you... [pulls out the sheet, revealing an invention.] ...my latest invention, the DNA Analyzer. All you do is to pick up an object, check for any types of DNA, fingerprints, saliva, etc, put it in the analyzer, and it will reveal the true owner of that object.

Everyone: Whoa.

Lisa: Indeed, Whoa. Now, all we need to do is to get the DNA of our mother and combine it with the pregnancy test.

Everyone: Got it.

[Lola and Lana walk towards Rita.]

Lola: Hi, there, mommy. Say is that a new haircut you got?

Lana: Say, it looks good on you.

[Lincoln hangs in the air by a rope and holds a small clipper, aiming at Rita's hair.]

Rita: Actually, i've had ths haircut for years now.

Lana: Hey, mom, do you wanna tell us a story?

Rita: About what?

[Lincoln reaches for Rita's hair with the clipper.]

Lola: About, uhhhh, the time we were born?

Rita: OK, well it all started at the hospital...

[Lincoln is swinging and swinging until he picks a piece of Rita's hair with the clippers.]

Rita: Ow! What was that?

[Lincoln signals to be pulled up.]

Lola and Lana: OK, great story, Mom. Bye.

Rita: Wait, I didn't even tell you how you were born.

[Lincoln, Lola and Lana are back in Lisa's room.]

Lincoln: We've got the DNA.

Lisa: Excellent. And now, the moment of truth.

[Lisa puts the piece of Rita's hair in the bag with the pregnancy test, and she puts them in the DNA Analyzer. The Analyzer shakes and the lights go flashing for 10 seconds, and a piece of paper comes out. Lisa reads the sheet.]

Lola: Well, what does it say? Is Mom having a baby?

[Lisa pulls a disappointed face.]

Lisa: Ah, dangit. The result is negative.

[Everyone else groans.]

Luna: Ah, nuts.

Lori: I knew it was literally too good to be true.

Lincoln: So if Mom isn't pregnant, then somebody else in this house is.

[Lincoln stares at Lori without her knowing.]

Lincoln: Hmmm.


	3. Chapter 3

[Lisa is at the kitchen reading a book, Lincoln shows up and puts down the book.]

Lincoln: Hey, Lis, could you do me a tiny favor?

Lisa: Can it wait, only brother, I'm trying to read this book on sophisticated scientists of the 18th century-

[Lincoln puts down the book again.]

Lincoln: Let's just cut to the chase. I suspect one of our other family members is pregnant, and I think she is literally it.

[Scene cuts to Lori's room with all siblings.]

Lori: What? You literally think I'm the one who used the pregnancy test. You can't prove anything.

Lana: Well, what about last week when you said you were going out with Bobby all night and didn't come back for days.

Luna: Or what about this morning when you were pukin' in the bathroom for 10 minutes.

Lincoln: Yes, Lori, answer those.

Lori: OK, First of all, the reason I was at the city for days was becuase the van literally broke down and there was no other way to pay for repairs. So I convinced Bobby to let me help him out at the bodega to raise some cash for the van. And secondly, I was puking earlier because the cereal literally expired, 2 years ago. So, yeah, I'm literally not pregnant.

Lisa: Likely story.

[Lisa pulls Lori's piece of hair out.]

Lori: Hey!

[Lisa puts the hair in the bag with the pregnancy test and analyzes them with the DNA Analyzer. Paper comes out with the results. Lisa pulls out the paper.]

Lisa: And now, for the second time in a row, the moment of truth. [heavy inhale]

[Lisa looks at the results.]

Lisa: Dangit, Negative.

[Everyone sighs and leaves Lori's room.]

Lori: I literally told you so.


	4. Chapter 4

[Lincoln is walking outside the house with the pregnancy test.]

Lincoln: [sigh] I was a fool thinking we'd have another baby. This was all jsut a waste of time. I guess we'll never know who this test belongs to.

[Lincoln plans to throws the pregnancy test in the bin and goes back inside.]

[Leni is eating a prime rib. She eats it fast.]

Lincoln: Ugh, would you take it easy, Leni, you're gonna choke.

Leni: [swallow] Sorry, it's just that my stomach wanted more food, and I can't stop, it's like I have an addiction or something.

[Lincoln shrugs, walks upstairs, then suddenly stops.]

Lincoln: She's eating very often? How did I not see that? Unless...

[Flashbacking to Leni eating a Hot Dog at the living room, chips at her room earlier and the prime rib seconds ago.]

[Back to now, Lincoln gasps runs back to the bin, picks up the pregnancy test, pulls out a piece of Leni's hair without her knowing, and knocks on all the doors.]

Lincoln: Lisa! I need you to analyze this one last time.

Lisa: [sighs heavily] Fine, if it will shut your piehole.

[Later, everyone is at Lisa's room, awaiting results from the Analyzer. The results come out in paper. Lisa tears out the paper and reads it.]

Lincoln: Well, what does it say?

[Lisa pulls a shocked face.]

Lisa: It's... It's... [slow-motion] POSITIVE!

[Everyone storms down to Leni at the living room.]

Lincoln: IT'S YOU! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S PREGNANT!

Lori: How are you literally pregnant at this very minute?!

Leni: Pregnant? Hmmm... Pregnant? Pregnant? [pulls a surprised face.] Ohhh! Now it's coming back to me.

[Flashbacking to Leni in the city walking towards doctors at a stand.]

I was walking in the city when i saw these people in white coats who were doing some kind of petition or something.

Doctor: Excuse me, madam. We're looking for a woman to become part of a very intense experiment.

Leni: Is it like plastic surgery?

Doctor: Uhhhh, sure, and it will be quick and painless, too.

Leni: [gasp] Sign me up.

[Leni signs the form to take part in the experiment. Flashing forward at the hospital where Leni is lying in a hospital bed in an operating room while doctors are watching.]

Doctor: Greetings, everyone. Today, we are going to see if this female human can carry the baby of a reptilian.

Leni: Is this part of the plastic surgery?

Doctor: Uhhhh, of course. Now let me just turn on the anesthetic.

Leni: Will you make my face look like a celebrity? I always wanted to be like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

[Leni passes out from the anesthetic.]

[Back to the present.]

Leni: And then after that, I took the pregnancy test, and it said yes.

[Everyone pulls a disturbingly shocked face.]

Lisa: They let you... put a reptile's foetus inside you?!

Leni: Yeah, isn't it great? Once it's born, I'll call it... Reppy.

Lincoln: What the- I- You- What just happened?!

[9 months later, Leni is at the hospital giving birth with all her siblings with her.]

Doctor: Alright, Ms. Loud, one more push.

[Leni pushes and screams in pain. Then she finally gives birth.]

Doctor: Congratulations, it's a- Lizard?!

[Leni catches the baby lizard. The doctor leaves the room in terror and smashes the door with his body.]

Leni: O M Gosh, you guys. Say hello to your nephew, Reppy.

[Leni reveals the baby Lizard to everyone. It has a small piece of hair on its head.]

Lola: Oh my gosh, I think i'm gonna be sick.

[Lola pukes on the floor unseen.]

Lincoln: Uhhh, Hi, Reppy.

[Reppy touches Lincoln's hand with his tongue.]

Lincoln: Ah, Gross.

[Lincoln shakes the saliva off his hand.]

Doctor: Ha Ha! The experiment was a success. A human woman has givn birth to a fine reptilian. And now I'd like you to hand it over to me.

Leni: Why?

Doctor: Well, it does belong to us, and we need to do some testing, experimenting, near-fatal or not-

[Leni escapes the delivery room through the wall.]

Leni: You'll never take my lizard son. Never!

Lori: This was literally the most disturbing thing in the history of forever.

[Doctor looks at Lincoln.]

Doctor: Say, young man, how would you like to take part in an experiment?

[Lincoln screams and is seen in his bed.]

Lincoln: [panting heavily] Oh, good. It was all just a dream. A very, very, weird, dream. I'm just glad I don't have any relatives that aren't human.

[The robot Fiancé drops in.]

Fiancé: Bleep-Bleep. Lincoln. Have. You. Seen. My. Wife. Leni. Bleep-Bleep. I. Was. Supposed. To. Take. Her. Out. To. Dinner. Tonight. Bleep-Bleep.

[Fiancé leaves Lincoln's room.]

Lincoln: Oh, right. The last fan-fiction. Never should've spoken too soon.

[Lincoln goes back to bed.]

THE END


End file.
